The Beast of Sydenham

Hoorah! It has been a good few years since someone has spotted a giant cat stalking the streets of England, but today we have reports of a black panther roaming wild in south London. Here is a classic quote from the Graun on the matter:

Billy Rich, 44, was looking out of his window at 5.30am when he saw a black creature leap across the road and bound south towards Mayow Park.

"I see a ... thing," he said.

"What's he supposed to have seen?" asked his ex-wife.

"The beast of Sydenham," your correspondent explained.

"The only beast of Sydenham is him," she replied, prodding a finger at Mr Rich.

"On the news they said it was as big as a Doberman, but it wasn't," insisted Mr Rich. "It was big and black and I thought, f****** hell, what was that?

"It definitely wasn't a pussy cat. It was too big. The way it jumped, you could tell it wasn't a dog. It definitely wasn't a fox, but it can't be a panther - where would a panther come from in Sydenham?"

Danny Bamping, the founder of the British Big Cat Society, warned that if the cat was a melanistic leopard or a black panther, it could kill. "They can be very, very dangerous," he said. "There have been incidents in North America where joggers have been killed by these creatures."

Parents said they would be keeping their children indoors. "The garden is secure but I wouldn't let my little boy Morgan go out and play today," said Kelly Wood.

"He's 19 months. I think he's quite an edible size."

Other people were sceptical. "I saw a little moggy lying in the path but that's about it," said Kim Kimberley. "I can't see it - unless he's the one from Bodmin moor and he jumped on the train and came up here."

handy guide to cats

Long may it continue...!

This article does however raise a few issues....why were they talking to Billy Rich's (great name by the way) ex-wife? Is Morgan Wood usually allowed to play outside on his own at 19 months, "edible size" or not? Who is Kim Kimberley? Is anyone else beginning to find these names a bit suspect?